1: My local police officer can whistle 500 songs on command. He's an iPlod.
2: Yesterday I picked up a book that was really intresting... The book was called Anti-Gravity. I just can't put it down!
3: Two atoms were walking down the road when one said: "I've just lost an electron!", The other atom said "Are you sure?" and it says "Yes, Im positive!"
4: My friend was once bitten by a rattle-snake. If I knew the difference between antidoe and anecdote he'd still be alive today!
5: (For those in the UK or maybe the US) My bakery only sells other bakeries' leftovers. It's called Dreggs.
6: Bush is banned from watching TV. The last time the TV told him to push the red button, he nearly started world war three.
I might have some more in the future! PM me if you want more.
Some funny jokes!
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Joe and Wendy had been dating for years, but Joe was always sleeping around. When they finally decided to get engaged Wendy had an idea to keep Joe faithful. She made him get her name tatooed on his schlong. When he wasn't "standing at attention" though all you could see is the letters 'w' and 'y'. Joe and Wendy finally get married and are honeymooning in Jamaica when Joe goes to the bathroom in the resteraunt where they are dining. Standing next to him is his Jamaican waiter and he notices that he also has 'w' and 'y' tatooed on his [censored]. Joe asks him, "Is your girlfriend named Wendy, too?" "No mon, " replies the waiter", it says 'welcome to Jamaica have a nice day'."
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mattarnster
- Posts: 698
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:34 pm
- Location: NY, USA